I haven’t posted for a few days, have missed my Writer’s Island and Slice Of Life prompts for the week, and have pondered running away and joining the French Foreign Legion, for two not exactly dissimilar reasons. Snot and vomit.
There is a cold/ tummy bug thing going around the school and because all of the parents at my son’s school are working and never keep their kids home from school when they’re sick, sending them instead doped up on paracetamol and Vick’s vaporub, the bug spreads like wildfire and without fail, because that’s just the way it goes, my son always catches it. Spectactularly. Some kind of evil-protoplasm-covering- the- carpet (vomit,) playing -with- his- friend -the- tissue- monster(snot,) spectacular.
Many of my friends and I work part-time. I was speaking to my friend, Rachel, today, whose daughter is home from school with the same illness and we bemoaned the fact that the kids always fall sick on the days we do work, not on the days we don’t. It’s a Murphy’s Law kind of thing.
So far this week she has lost two days pay while I have lost one. Many part-timers in Australia don’t get sick leave due to our former Prime Minister John Howard’s intractable, inflexible, keep- the- serfs in- their- place -innovation – the enterprise agreement. My enterprise agreement has such attractive, enlightened conditions as no paid sick leave, no holiday pay and no paid lunch break. Rachel has the added bonus of the management retaining the right to cut her hours without notice (she works in retail. If it’s quiet she gets sent home even though she will have made child care arrangements and payments for the day.)
So both of us had to do the thing we hate today because we can’t afford to lose another day’s pay and we know our kids won’t be well enough to go to school tomorrow. We had to ask our self-employed, my-job-is-more-important-than-yours husbands to take the day off and look after the kids.
We both dread asking because, didn’t you know, didn’t you hear? Our respective husband’s businesses will collapse and crumble into dust if they take six hours off. In fact, the entire Australian economy might grind to a halt without them at the helm for half a day.
But I dared Rachel and she double dared me, and together, we summoned the courage to ask the unaskable, and to our surprise, there was less huffing and puffing about it than we had expected.
So despite the fact that my favourite purple house socks are encrusted with two day old vomit and I have to go to work tomorrow with Margot the Impaler, I feel happy, because to me, part of being married is the ability to work in a team when it comes to parenting, and sometimes that teamwork involves taking a day off to care for your sick child, even if you are the father.
Filed under: Life | Tagged: inflexible husbands, sick kids, working mothers
They should do it, and they should wanna do it. I dig taking care of the little ones every now and then..
At the very least it should make them appreciate that your job is just as important as theirs.
never really thought much about it… but why is it that in this modern day and age that women are still the ones that have to stay home when the kids are sick…. sometimes i think the only thing we gained when women fought for equality was the right to work forty hours a week.. thanks girls~!!
TESCO -it’s always so nice to hear from you. You are spot on – they should want to do it. It’s their kid too, right? You really are a sweetie.
PAISLEY – it is crazy. Most of my female friends are the only ones who stay home when their kids are sick. I don’t know if this is just peculiar to Australia or if it’s a world wide thing, but sometimes it makes life difficult. When my son was about 7 he spent almost a month in hospital with acute asthma. I lost my job because of it. It was crazy and really added to the stress. I thought it was just my husband being a macho dickhead but many of my friends have gone through the same thing. Where’s Germaine Greer when you need her?
No, it isn’t peculiar to Australia, although it is beginning to change here (or is that just the isolated instances I hear about?) Staying home when kids are sick, buying all the birthday and Christmas presents and the list goes one … women still do a disproportionate share in most every area. I’m just glad to see your husband took the day off = progress.
Speaking of Germaine Greer, I am in the midst of reading her book, Shakespeare’s Wife – a fascinating read.
Now I’m pondering how many men work part-time so that they can raise their children. I’ve only known of two. And working part-time means (usually here, anyway) reduced or non-existent job security, lower wages and rarely, except if unionised, any additional benefits.
Yes, I’ve taken days off at times when kids are sick. It was hard – real hard – but sometimes, you know, Dads and husbands can be heroes
OK, I’m ducking, now.
How well I remember this scenario when I worked in a “proper” job. Every Winter it would be the same. I would have to keep ringing in sick because my job wasn’t as “important” and my boss would be constantly pissed at me. My kids have asthma too and so they were sick a lot in the cold weather. At least my being an Avon rep allows me to work around things like that and my own health woes. However it takes two people to make a child, it should take two to care for them in sickness and in health.
I love the way you and Rachel dared and double dared each other. It made me laugh.
no paid sick leave, no holiday pay and no paid lunch break
WHAT? No! That is TERRIBLE.
Hope your child feels better SOON.
xxoo
I nearly fell off my chair one day when I asked my husband to babysit the Minions when they were little. He looked at me like I’d asked him to henkle the hazzmoding with a gazordinplatzzz or something.
“Babysit? Did you actually ask me to babysit?”
“Well, yeah. I want to have coffee with my friends. Without the kids.”
“I’m their father. I don’t babysit, I take care of my children. Go. Have coffee. Have lunch. Have a great time.”
Ah, but when I went back to work, I was the one who got to stay home with the kiddos because, well, yeah.
Someone needs to render the disagreeable enterprise agreement null and void. It was obviously written by someone who has never had to earn a living in the real world. Wait, what was Margo the Impaler up to during the drafting of that law…hmmm? Was she involved in politics? Or was it her mother-in-law?
Sorry to hear about the excess snot and vomit coming your way; including the $ woes. I think it’s terrible when people ship out their sick kids to school, daycare etc…sick or not, due to their budget constraints and ‘needs’ . I’m guessing you are a brilliant mom Selma. Sorry to hear your son has not been well. Hang in there, sunshine and clean socks on the horizon!!! Huggs, G
PS: I had to sign in over here so I’m guessing I’ll be showing up as a quilt square today. I noted a lot of your fav. purple ones here the other day LOL!!!! More hugs. G
>>My enterprise agreement has such attractive, enlightened conditions as no paid sick leave, no holiday pay and no paid lunch break.<<
That sucks! Will the new government change anything?
No sick pay, no holiday pay or a paid lunch break – that sucks big time!!!! What kind of government do you have? At least we get some sick days but I believe you have to be full-time, if it if a long term thing you may be able to qualify for sick/unemployment benefits… lunch breaks well depending on how many hours you work it may or may not be paid…
Hope your son feels better and your purple socks see some better days!
I think it’s the same here with most part-time employees. (Although even full time employees don’t get a paid lunch break.)
I guess I’m lucky we usually have to “who has the less busy schedule” talk when The Boy gets sick. When he was younger he was sick more now it’s not so bad. But it gets to the point
That being said I still worry about him when he’s sick and feel guilty for not being able to stay home with him. Alas.
Upon reflection, I’m not sure why I feel lucky to have someone to share the work with… shrug… guess it shows lowered expectations
KATE – I read a review of Shakespeare’s Wife and was intrigued. I believe she was quite a successful business woman in her own right. How are you finding it? Oh yeah, part- time work is not all it’s cracked up to be. I actually did less work when I worked full-time. Maybe in my next life I’ll be independently wealthy with a personal shopper and a butler. Hehehe.
ANTHONY- I can imagine you’d be a great Dad. No need to duck. I only throw things at the slacker Dads.
GYPSY – can you believe we had to resort to daring each other? We were both laughing at the time. Or was that crying hysterically? And I agree, if both parents are on the scene, both should be involved.
MELEAH – many part-timers in Oz have exceedingly bad job conditions. I am thinking about writing a piece about it for the local paper because something needs to be done. Jake is feeling better already.
KAREN – Hsahahahaha. I think you are on to something there. Crushing the proletariat is right up Margot’s street, as well as thinning down the lunchtime gruel and selling her workers first born children on Ebay. Honestly, I wouldn’t put anything past her.
GERALDINE – Hail to thee clean socks. Yay for the return of the quilt square. Purple – bring on the purple. XX
TRAVELRAT – there has been talk of it but you know how it usually goes with government policy – once it’s in, it’s IN. Maybe we need a revolution…..
TBALL – Jake has recovered well. I think he willed himself better so he wouldn’t have to spend any more days at home with his Dad (only partly joking.) His Dad doesn’t give him little treats and hot drinks the way I do. My purple socks have recovered. Thank God, they are my faves!
NAT – not at all. It’s always good to share the load. I feel guilty too when I go to work and Jake is sick. I was worried about him all day. No doubt I made lots of mistakes on the copy today so that when I go in on Monday, I’ll be in strife. But hey, nobody’s perfect!
I couldn’t find one reason for these men to possibly turn down your requests. Stuff happens. I’m sure that we can all find a way to make things work both at home and at the job, if we cared enough.
CHRIS – you are completely right. To my surprise the day went smoothly and dear old hubby even said he was up for it again. I am pleased and surprised.