True Confessions, AVOs, Standing In the Rain with no Umbrella & Vomit on the Carpet.

You would be forgiven for thinking that the title of my post indicates a predilection for punk music lyrics or perhaps a propensity for verbal diarrhoea. Truth is, it’s been one hell of a week.

So my sister and her husband have split. He has moved into his old house (which he was previously renting out) with another woman and her two kids. Another man seems to come and go. What his relationship is to the woman is not terribly clear. Unfortunately, she is a known addict. Heroin is her drug of choice, I believe. She doesn’t work and spends most of her time chasing her two unruly kids around, both of whom have been expelled from the local high school.

It doesn’t sound like an environment my former brother-in-law needs to be in to get himself under control. It is a horrible environment for his old dog who has already been traumatised unforgivably by living with him. Looks like she’s set for more misery as the woman owns two Rottweilers. I feel sick about that dog. Aunt Jo and I have called the local branch of the RSPCA saying we would like to get the dog out of that situation but they legally can’t do anything unless the dog is injured. We have even offered to buy the dog but my brother-in-law refuses to sell her claiming he is attached to her, despite treating her so cruelly. I can’t bear it when humans are unkind to animals. They rely on us to look after them.

So that was one day. On the next, Aunt Jo, my mother and I accompanied my sister, Millie to court. The woman has taken an AVO out against my sister (Apprehended Violence Order.) We were up in arms about it at first, proclaiming Millie’s innocence, swearing on our own lives that she has no history of violence, to anyone who would listen. And then she decided to be honest with us. For once in her life she freely volunteered the truth.

Seems that last week Millie to went round to Oliver’s place. To get the dog so she says. But she got in a fight with the woman on the front lawn and ended up smashing her car windows. She didn’t tell any of us what had happened until twenty minutes before she was due in court for the preliminary hearing. We stood, unspeaking, clumsy, deflated, suddenly really interested in the circles our shoes made on the dusty footpath.

Then Millie was called in to the court room. She decided she just wanted to go in alone. Mum and Aunt Jo went to get a coffee but I wanted to stand in the courthouse garden. They had Californian poppies – orange and red cups brimming with morning rain, stems slightly aslant with the weight of the water. A lady stopped on the grass with a cute little Jack Russell in a blue coat. He looked like he’d been wrapped up as a present for someone.

It started to rain. A man who must have been a lawyer began to run, arms full of paper, slipping and sliding on the grass as proficiently as a mime artist. Impressively, he didn’t drop a single sheet.

I didn’t have an umbrella. I stood under a willow tree, watching as my light blue shirt grew darker as it became spattered with rain, like an invisible hand was stencilling it. It can be calming just standing in the rain, without the protection of an umbrella. It tempts you to dance and twirl and whoop, the way some children do when caught in a downpour. The sense of liberty is difficult to resist.

Then Millie emerged, face the colour of milk left sitting too long on the kitchen counter. She has to present her side of the story at another hearing in two weeks because she has rejected the AVO, has no intention of making any further contact with her ex and that woman, and has requested it be wiped from her record. She has to present her case with her lawyer and then the judge will make his ruling.

We took her home, outlining her defence all the way but I must admit, I participated half-heartedly in the discussion. I am tired, really tired. When I got home I was actually too tired to go to bed and when I eventually dropped off I was wakened about an hour later by the boy being sick on the hall carpet. He had been feeling sick all evening and hadn’t made it to the bathroom in time.

So there I was at four in the morning, washing linen and scrubbing the vomit out of the carpet. It was one of those moments where you say to yourself:

‘Couldn’t get any worse than this.’

And in some ways saying that aloud made me feel better. It was just one of those weeks. It wasn’t fatal. Tomorrow I will wake up, the smell of vomit will probably have cleared from the carpet, and the sun might be shining. It will, in fact, be another day, just like Scarlett O’Hara said, and I will stand once more, ready for whatever comes, entranced by the colour of the sky.

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24 responses to “True Confessions, AVOs, Standing In the Rain with no Umbrella & Vomit on the Carpet.

  1. Hey there, missed you. I’m sorry your week went the way it did, but I am glad to hear your sister and her husband have split. I wish her the best and hope she can move forward from here.

    Isn’t it the worst (well, maybe not the worst) to have to clean vomit in the middle of the night. Instead of waking from a dream, you’re waking to a nightmare. A few years back my nephew was visiting and became sick in the middle of the night. This was after he had eaten an enormous amount of brightly colored candy that my mother-in-law had supplied. Eeewww!

    I see from my calendar you have a holiday tomorrow. By the way, did you know that April 26th is Hug an Australian Day? So lots of big hugs to you.

    Linda~

  2. I love the feeling of standing in the rain without an umbrella – to me it always feels rebellious. I can almost hear my mother shouting at me to put my coat on or similar.

    Am so sorry you had a ‘week’ but am praying that it all gets better!

  3. Perfectly Indecisive

    That was indeed a hell of a week. You are also quite right to believe that the sun might shine but no; it will shine tomorrow. It’s all about perspective and how we chose to look at life. I Hope it all works out for the best for your family. Lastly, get the poor dog outta there. Get photos, proof that the poor creature isn’t well treated. I’m sending strong vibes of luck your way.

    P.S: found your blog through my friend Spaz.

    Great writing by the way.

  4. ((((Selma)))) -I wanted to get a headstart on the Hug an Australian day-

    I’m so sorry to hear the trouble you’ve been having. It’s good that Millie is out of her marriage, physically, and I hope she can get out of it emotionally as well. Let’s hope she doesn’t fall in love again too quickly. She sounds so much like Lord of the Manor’s sister. She was looking for a husband to replace the one who had died suddenly two weeks earlier.

    I’ll keep sending out postive vibes for that poor dog. It really galls me when people mistreat animals, then say they’re “too attached” to send it elsewhere to live. Maybe someone could, um, liberate the dog from the yard in the middle of the night. Or, you know… (Yeah, this is going to bug me for a few days… *sigh*)

    Back in the day, if there was ANY chance the Minions were going to get a stomach virus, it would be late at night after eating a dinner of spaghetti. And they never made it to the bathroom either.

    Yay that you made it through your trying week, yay that you’re able to post again, and, um… yay for any other good thing that I may have missed because the coffee hasn’t quite kicked in yet.

  5. Sheesh. What a week indeed.

    Thank God for the rain…

  6. Sounds like quite the week. I love running in the rain — something cleansing about it.
    As for vomit in carpet — I have spend many a night cleaning it up… it’s not fun specially with a head full of sleep.

    It will get better.

  7. i feel for you…. a week like that can be most devastating… just be glad you are you and not your sister,, and all of your vomit has been removed,,, where as hers is living in a house down the street poised and ready to reappear at any time….

  8. Hang in there love.

  9. Hi there…PETA can do a dog-rescue(or at least advise you on what to do/not do). So can your “SPCA”(which I think is called something else “down under”).
    Glad to hear your sis and her scary husband are separated. It truly will be for the best.
    Keep caring for YOU, Selma…
    Warm thoughts, meditations, and yes–prayers go out to you! And big hugs–”Hug an Australian Day”–how very cute & clever!

  10. that sure sounded like a week from hell! Glad your sister finally left that husband of hers – hopefully its for good! Please save the dog, ever since I got my puppy 6 months ago, I have become a real dog person/lover. If I’m not mistaken, if you can prove abuse the dog can be rescued… i thought I was having a bad week, well it doesn’t compare to yours at all! Take care of yourself and a big hug all the way from Canada!

  11. LINDA -oh, the vomit definitely is the worst. I have had nephews and nieces stay with me on occasion and they always throw up. What’s up with that? I think it’s because I feed them too much. From now on it’s rice crackers and carrot sticks. I didn’t know April 26 is Hug an Australian Day. I’ll have to start hugging straight away.

    BEC – it does feel rebellious. I know. I love it, except if it’s really windy as well and you’re wearing something that goes see-through when wet. My Mum even now says to me :’Do you have a coat?’ and I say: ‘Mum, it’s 25 degrees.’ It’s nice to know some things never change!

    PERFECTLY INDECISIVE – I want your name. It sums up my life. So nice of you to drop by. And I have just started reading Spaz’s blog and am enjoying it very much. You are right – I’ve got to get that dog out of there before it’s too late.

    KAREN – ((((((EXTRA BIG HUGS TO YOU))))))
    Millie does sound like LOTM’s sister. It’s so stressful. And boy, am I worried about that dog. You’d think I’d be more concerned about the people in question but I figure they are big enough to look after themselves. It is actually not beyond us to ‘liberate’ the dog. We have been known to resort to such measures before. A friend of mine works for PETA and she is ready any time. We even have balaclavas from a costume party we went to. Could make for an interesting future post.

    You won’t believe this but the boy had a spaghetti dinner the night he threw up. At least we know what to avoid if we want a vomit-free night. Hehehe.

    BRITT – the rain has been quite cleansing. It distracted me from all the drama.

    NAT – oh yeah, cleaning up vomit is not what you want with a head full of sleep. It always falls to me because my hubby starts dry-retching at the thought of it. I have thought for some time that it’s a tactic he uses to get out of doing it. Very masterful.

    PAISLEY – Yes, yes, yes. You got it in one. Millie may never clean away all the traces of vomit because it has been personified in her ex. Gross, but true.

    NECTARFIZZ – I feel better after reading all these lovely comments. It’s wonderful.

    LISA – I have kind of got PETA on board. They are actually going to go in and assess the situation. I’ll keep you posted. Hugs to you to from your good old Aussie mate. CRIKEY!

  12. TBALL – I am so sorry you’ve been having a bad week. If I can help in any way let me know. I am also a real animal lover. I rescue a lot of native wildlife but will look after any animal that’s been abused. I’ve even had big lizards living in my shed for a few months that were hit by a car. I had to catch live bugs to feed to them. I cried when I released them back into the wild because they were such cute little guys. I have often wondered if they stayed together! Hope your week gets better. And now you’ve said the magic word – Canada. I have long wanted to visit there. It looks so beautiful. Hopefully, one day soon…..

  13. Sorry to hear of all the upsets and upheavals (no pun intended) Selma. I hope things get better soon.

    I have been overwhelmed many many times in life by a seemingly unending ‘pile’ of family problems and related issues to deal with, many times single-handedly.

    Take care of yourself. Don’t let other people wear you down with their problems. It’s hard but it’s necessary. My advice, that I learned the hard way. Caring too much can be very damaging, mentally and physically. Don’t mean to rant, I just feel bad that you have such trials to face.

    Sending a big hug your way. Take care Selma. G

    http://www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

  14. At least the weekend is so very close to being upon us, right?? ;-)

  15. and you and I will be going to steal that dog.

    xxx

  16. The trouble with vomit is … whether someone you love took ill, and didn´t make it to the loo or some drunken mook you hardly know was tom-and-dick in your car … it smells the same!

    Unfortunately, ´´law´ and ´justice´are, sadly, rarely synonymous! Tell Milly to be strong, and, in her shoes, right or wrong, I´d probably have done the same thing. (and, my feet would probably hurt!) :D

  17. GERALDINE – you are so kind to worry about me and I really appreciate your advice. Stepping back a little is a very good idea. I love my sister but I can’t live her life for her.

    MICHAEL – It is a public holiday here today (Anzac Day) so the weekend is already here. I’ve been singing ‘Everybody’s Working For The Weekend’ all day. YAY!

    KATE – oh yeah. I’ll let you know. I think a rescue mission is definitely in order. XX0X0X0

    TRAVELRAT – I know. It does. And it always has carrots in it. ;)

  18. Hang in there! I understand how you feel about the dog. Maybe your B-I-L will change his mind.

    Beth Fehlbaum, author
    Courage in Patience, a story of hope for those who have endured abuse
    http://courageinpatience.blogspot.com
    Chapter One is online

  19. I’ve had a feeling something was wrong but haven’t had a chance to get over here til now. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through all this Selma but I’m not sad to hear that Millie has left her husband. It sounds like a very destructive relationship and nothing good can come from that. That poor dog, I hope you manage to get her out of there before any more damage is done. Keep your chin up sweet lady.

  20. Selma–I wanna ‘catch up” with your blog, so I’m goin’ over to uh, your April 10th entry(that’s when I started missing your blogs, ’til I read the most recent ones, this past week).
    I’ll post comments at each one, when I’ve finished reading them, ‘kay?
    Hugs from Atlanta, the bosom of The South…..

  21. am I the only one who is HAPPY your sister left the bastard?

  22. BETH – I’m hoping he will but I don’t want to push it and make things worse for my sister. Fingers crossed.

    GYPSY – I think it’s all going to work out. I don’t know how but I just feel it. Visits from you definitely help.

    LISA – I am touched you are reading all those previous ramblings. I had heard Atlanta was the ‘bosom of the South.’ I have seen a doco about it and now I want to visit. All those beautiful houses. Wow. And the food. One day…..

    MELEAH – I am freaking ecstatic. I hated that guy from the moment I laid eyes on him. I hope I never have to see him again in this lifetime. Not ever. Your comments are always spot on!

  23. Some good news I believe. I’m glad to hear there’s been some improvement.

    Although, I must admit, that line “vomit on the carpet” could easily be from an old Dead Boys repertoire.

  24. CHRIS – oh totally. I’m sure I’ve heard it in a song somewhere. :D